Monday, 9 December 2013

A Piece of The Past

(May be seen as sad or depressive)

Have you ever had that one person in your life that has impacted on so much, that it's unbelievable that one person could do so much?
Had that one person that you care and love so much its amazes you so much?
The one special person that knows you so well but still stays/stayed even through the worst times you could ever go through?
That one person who you are so used to being there for you all the time, and in a snap they are gone, torn away from you without knowing, forever gone and when you realise that one person you had a connection with is here no-more, it's like your world has been crushed but there are remains left, and that hurts you the most?

I may be just 16 years old, but I've gone through things no-one should go through and lost people that I miss we my life and all, but the past is the past when things like that happen, we just push it to the back of our minds, so we don't relive that horrifying event again, until the smallest thing triggers our memories; a person, a place, a word, anything and there you are reliving everything.
Until about a few weeks ago I was fine, I had put everything that hurt me too much in the back of my mind, until I had to relive two painful events; one that happened back in 2010/2011 and that still scars me today and one that happened in August 2012; I had lost my best friend/boyfriend and a friend.
Both of them hit my like someone throwing rocks and fire at me, it hurt and burned me, I didn't know what to do, those events were put away and I thought I lost the key but I didn't so I broke down, I changed even though it was for only a few weeks, my behaviour had changed and I cried and cried until I couldn't anymore, I thought I would feel better...doesn't everyone think that? but I wasn't and now I still remember but its so damn hard! So I forgot, I tried to forget anything and everything to do with anything, pictures, little notes, anything! Its a bad habit that I do, I tear, chuck, rip any physical memory so I won't cry nor be reminded that I was left or hurt by someone.
A few years/year later I still remember what happened like it happened yesterday but it's not forget the past to me, its head up, straight posture and one foot forward.
Horrible pasts aren't something that anyone wants but always learn something from them.

But my advice is no matter how hurt you are by whatever, don't ever ever damage any physical memories, because remember not always can we try and remember thousands of memories in our brain, and you will regret it later.

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